ME = NORMAL? OH, HELL, NO!


I drive myself crazy! It’s no secret. I’ve never denied it.

Why? you ask. How?

In lots of ways, but mostly it’s these two:

1) When I write, I drive myself nuts. 2) When I’m thinking about writing, I drive myself nuts.

Anyone getting it yet? I drive myself nuts.

Let’s look at #1:

Every once in a while, a writer hits a brick wall. I don’t mean the obstruction blocks inspiration. I mean, they’re midway through a novel, a scene pops up that has a ton happening in it, and they’re damned if they can get what’s in their heads onto the paper/screen.

I’m pretty lucky, because mostly I don’t suffer with this too much.

But when I do? I DO!

And I stamp my feet like a rebuked brat. When I send it off to my writer buddy, or out for critique, each and every time the responses tell me: this needs work/it’s not quite working, I nigh on sit at my laptop with froth leaving my mouth.

Not at those who dared tell me my writing isn’t perfect.

At myself.

I get so damned frustrated I want to scream.

Move on, is the advice I get from them—nudge that scene aside, take a break from it, and just carry on with the story.

::Stare::

Are they INSANE? I can’t do THAT!

My head is so darn stuck in its ways, it refuses to allow me to move onto the next chapter until the one I’ve sweated like a pig in an electric blanket over is near as damn it to being right.

This is something I need to overcome—if only for my own sanity, which is somewhere on the brink of getting me committed.

What about #2:

You all MUST sympathise with me on this one.

I’m a linear writer. Though and through. The details in #1 confirm this.

So, why the heck does my head conjure up new stories before I’ve finished the one I’m currently working on?

::Stare::

Unfortunately, this is a contradicting writing trait I seem to have adopted from day one of my writing career. When I wrote my 1st novel, I made it halfway through when the scenes for the 2nd novel started to invade my brain.

I made myself wait. I have some discipline.

However, exactly the same thing happened when I hit the halfway mark of novel #2 with the ideas for my 3rd novel.

And then, halfway through that, 50% of Darkness & Light weaved itself in my subconscious to the point it almost drove me nuts (or, even nuttier than I already was).

Darkness & Light was my most disciplined novel from the start. I managed to remain focused—but it had a lot more going on than the previous 3—right until the end.

Then I told myself I’d take a break.

Um … bad idea.

Apparently, I was horrid to live with. I guess I must have been—as Mr B, who’d been looking forward to seeing my eyes without their glazed expression, begged me to write something else if only to lift my crabby mood.

So I did. I wrote a new story for the characters in Darkness & Light, and my 5th novel was born. And during that, the nuttiness started again, with new characters popping into my head.

The only difference was, they’d expanded from being just the characters I’d become intimate with, and into an explosion of babbling voices and tiny little opening scenes and hints of conflicts, and snippets of witty dialogue, and …. (dudes, isn’t that enough?).

And I find this happening to me more and more. Sometimes, I can poke them with my toe and tell them to be quiet. And then other times, they are the boss of me.

That’s what is happening right now.

It’s no secret that I intended to write more for the Holloway Pack Stories. I am, in fact, working on book #3 right now. But when, after figuring out who the MC would be, the opening scene for the 4th book arrived, it banged around so hard inside my skull, my eyes darn near wobbled from their sockets.

So I HAD to write it down whilst it was still fresh.

But now my head keeps wandering to that … and it can’t, dammit! Because without book #3, there can be no book #4 (that’s as much as I’m willing to say on that).

I don’t even want to admit to how many potential short/novella/novel openings I have saved for return visits. But each one of them pings around in my mind on occasion—sometimes every day, and they drive me crazy.

For some reason, the more I write, the more ideas pop into my head, and disciplining myself seems like an impossible mission.

Vent over.

What about you and your writing methods (or lack of)? What drives YOU crazy about you?

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14 thoughts on “ME = NORMAL? OH, HELL, NO!

  1. Because all my novels are full of mystery and there is always something going on behind the scenes, I find the ‘logic’ portion of my brain is constantly at work, dictating to me which way to turn and how that will tie in with previous statements I’ve made in the novel. But sometimes, I get off course and that nagging feeling will get stronger and stronger until I’ll stare at a blank page until I listen to it and fix it. All of it. and then I CANNOT move on UNTIL I’ve fixed it. All of it. There will be NO further new writing until every last bit of it is fixed. But once it is, I can happily move forward again. 🙂

    1. It’s irritating, no?
      We might feel better once it’s fixed, but at the time, it’s darn annoying that our minds won’t let us move on.

  2. What do I do? Have you seen my list of unfinished novels?

    If an idea won’t let me go, I write it down in a little notebook I have and the feeling of doing that story usually goes away.

    As far as novels go, if I get to a place that is frustrating me, I move on. NaNo taught me this. because you have to get 50k words completed in a month, brain freeze isn’t an option.

    Now my brain can’t get away from anothology calls or short stories. ::sigh::

  3. I’m a Gemini, I’m as flightly as the wind and it guides me like I’m chasing a butterfly and OMG! Did you see that pretty flow…. Hey it’s a red-winged blackbird! They’re my favorite!

    Wait… what was I talking about again?

  4. OK…I thought by now I could have come up with something that might make you feel normal…but um, I just realized I’m probably even less sane. My mind has the attention span of a flea. Because I have to concentrate on so many things throughout the day with endless interruptions, processing scenes or characters must be incredibly focused. I try to keep a notepad close by to accommodate those bursts of ideas, that are ever-changing. But is it really crazy? Or absolute GENIUS! (They say Albert Einstein was loopy). If you’re writing scenes for book two when you’re just breaking ground for book one, isn’t that a great way to stave off writer’s block? I dunno. Call me crazy too.

    1. I’m a genius? Thank you. You may call again. Ha! 😉

      I could stave off any block by shifting my focus to new work(though, I don’t believe writer’s block actually exists–it’s more a difficulty in portraying the moving images in your head into words), but my mind revolts and the discipline to see my current NiP through the end often wins over–so the most I jot down is often only the opening chapter or two. 🙂

      (oh, and aren’t all writer’s crazy–to a degree?).

  5. psy·cho·sis   /saɪˈkoʊsɪs/
    –noun, plural -ses

    1. a mental disorder characterized by symptoms, such as delusions or hallucinations, that indicate impaired contact with reality.
    2. any severe form of mental disorder, as schizophrenia or paranoia.

    Um, well what exactly do they mean by ‘hallucinations’?

  6. You’ve accepted who you are, and that’s great. It took me a while to be okay with my own neurosis, my sudden obsession with the writtten word. Eventually I just threw up my hands and shouted “I am WRITER! Hear me roar!” Life got easier after that. 🙂

    Uh … ideas outlined for future novels … yeah, I have at least 7 that are either 10% started so I don’t forget the ideas, or at least written somewhere in concept form. I’ve never written a novel without my mind wandering into another. Right now I’m writing Shadowborn, yet my mind bounces between that and The Great Experiment (damn, that really needs a new name), which I’m extremely excited about. So far, I’ve leashed my muse and kept him on track – well, except for the almost 3 chapters I’ve written of TGE. ::grins innocently::

    1. “I am WRITER! Hear me roar!” Okay, I LOVE this! I am so going to steal it … for when I’m 100% alone and the frsutration tries to get the better of me. 🙂

      I think we’re a lot alike, Jo (if you ignore that you belt your words out at a speed which leaves mine coated in the dust from your takeoff)

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